October 6, 2011–I’m not sure why it’s been nearly 6 months since I’ve posted something, anything. My second handwritten journal is full. Snippets of paper and spiral pads on my desk offer data, indicating brain waves at work. Yet, there’s that high jump post from April. It stayed prominent, and needs dusting. Walk on.
I turned the page into my 49th year yesterday. 49 in the 49th state. 7+a little 2. 7 squared. Something significant lurks. Steve Jobs died on my 49 BD. He inspires me. Awes me too. I’ve been thinking a lot lately about what it means to unspool a life. Make way for something new and ancient.
This morning I spent three hours with a new teacher to Alaska who is blind–she was sighted until age 21–and her two middle school students, who are also blind. The three of them grab my heart. I need to write a web highlight story for my work with the school district, and the words seem erased, stuck. My inner SMART board is defecting, and somehow I don’t think a call to the IT department will help. A photograph of one of their faces is my new screensaver–at my not quite so new (since August 1) work with Kenai Peninsula Borough School District. She, and each person you or I meet has a story to tell. I’m listening.
My question of the hour, at 49, with a lifetime of memories and experiences, some so sad, others joyous beyond measure:
How do we value time?
I ponder these questions too: What orientates our lives? Dare we dream of possibility? In this life, we must be brave, very brave. Each of us has own inner struggles, and vision. We need good guides, and to trust ourselves. This prayer ripples in me tonight, “Oh God, teach me to see.”
How do you see? What–and who–helps you navigate darkness?